Here is another post inspired by music
Dear Daft Punk, Thank you for inspiring me with
a good ole’ dance song to keep me rocking out to for the ages….
This is probably one of the hardest entries for me to write…This is one that I will have struggled to write the most!
We all have things in our life that we say, “Ok, just one more time,” “One more drink,” “One more email,” “One more piece of candy for your crying child,” “One more dog to adopt,” “One more purse that you have to have,” “One more piece of cake.”You get the idea, right?
For me this is really something I struggle with. Just one more time, just one more time that I will give in to my crying child, just for a moment of piece. One more time that I will let somebody in my life treat me badly, before I say that is enough and I am not bluffing, you will soon be out of my life. Just one more time that I eat this badly, knowing that I am going to have the most severe stomach ache in the morning. Just one more time, just one more, just one more time…..
Well, dear readers I have something that I have said that about many times over the years. For those who are close to me you already now this, but for those of you who don’t here it goes. We all have crutches in life, shopping, eating, drinking and so on and so on. For me it is….smoking. Yes, I SMOKE!!!!! Right now my mom and sister are having a heart attack reading this, because they know how private I am about this. I have always tried to be a closet smoker, or at least since I had children. I hate that I smoke, I hate it about myself, I hate who it makes me. I AM SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF TO BE A SMOKER, ASHAMED BEYOND BELIEF….I use them as a crutch, as a way to avoid, as an escape from the stress of my life. It has been so long that I don’t know how to deal without them. I quit while pregnant with each child, but once Blaise was diagnosed I slipped right back.
I DON’T WANT THIS FOR MY LIFE ANYMORE…
I PUT IT OUT THERE FOR YOU ALL TO KNOW, SO I CAN’T HIDE ANYMORE!!!!!
I want something different for my life, smoking doesn’t represent who I am, or who I want to be. I want to take care of myself, I want to be healthy, practice mindful eating, do yoga, meditate, and sleep well at night.
SO I SAY IT TO YOU ALL LOUD AND CLEAR. I AM GOING TO GIVE IT UP AGAIN. I AM GOING TO DO IT…
I know it might not be perfect, I know I still have those last few left in my pack. I promise you all this. I will not buy another pack, and if you want to offer me encouragement or words of wisdom, they are all welcome here!
DEAR READERS, WHAT IS YOUR, “JUST ONE MORE TIME?” WHAT IS THE THING THAT YOU GIVE IN TO, OR THE THING THAT YOU NEED TO PUT AN END TO? POST BELOW AND GET IT OUT!!!!