A blog should be honest right?
Today was this kind of day for me…..
I don’t know what is wrong today, or yesterday for that matter, but I am just in a funk. I am just in a bad mood. I am cranky, stressed out, tense, and to be quite honest, kinda mean.
I hate when I feel like this because it totally consumes me. It consumes every single aspect of my being. So today I find myself totally consumed with a massive amount of insecurity. I have been doing so good lately with not feeling bad about my self, and today it was as if I put my self in reverse. I am totally aware of the fact that what I am feeling is coming out of my stress and that it’s not real, however that doesn’t necessarily make it any better.
To add insult to injury I got a lovely letter in the mail from the State Department today regarding my passport. Three weeks after applying they send me this letter stating that I didn’t provide SUFFICIENT proof of my identity. Apparently a certified birth certificate and current drivers liscence(by the way this is what they told me was required and was all that was required) is no longer good enough. They sent me the letter and said that I need to submit 5 DOCUMENTS TO PROVE WHO I AM and….THAT ALL THE DOCUMENTS NEED TO BE 5 YEARS OR OLDER. Oh really. Then they go on to add a 5 page attachment of which I am to list EVERY SINGLE PLACE I EVER LIVED. They underline and restate that I must list EVERY single residence. As if I remember all that. So I am leaving for Mexico in roughly six weeks, the trip of a lifetime for me, given as a gift by my amazing sister. This is my first time out of the country, and my first time away from my kids. This is supposed to be a chance for me to recharge and have some real time to reclaim myself. So help me god if the state department screws this up for me, well…I am not sure I should post those not so nice words on here tonight.
So you see the end result of all of this mess is this…I was not nice to my kids today, mean to my mom, and really lame to my husband. So a blanket apology to all of the above is needed. I AM SORRY FOR BEING NASTY TO YOU.
I really don’t know how I even managed to write this blog tonight, yes, I am in that bad of a mood.
I made a promise to myself to be committed, and for me that means writing no matter what. That is one thing that makes me happy today, being committed and following through with a promise to myself.
I am going to be this bad day to rest now. I hope to wake tomorrow feeling a bit better than today.
Not everyday can be a good day.
I will accept all the days good and bad. I will see today for what it is a pile of you know what, and then let it go.
So dear readers can you let go of your bad days, maybe bad weeks, sometimes even bad years?