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Goodbye…

21 Jan

My sweet dog Gunner has passed…

I haven’t written all week. I have been tending to my dog Gunner in his last days on earth.

We didn’t know he was sick until last Friday. We rushed him to the vet, only to find out that he had a tumor the size of a grapefruit in his rear end. You can only imagine how painful that must be. In the days that followed he took a turn for the worst. A high fever and terrible coughing and eventually he began struggling to even get up from the ground.

I was injecting Gunner with antibiotics, forcing him to take pain pills, and giving medication to help him go to the bathroom. All the while emotionally falling apart with the thought of losing my sweet boy. As the days went on I told my husband that we have no choice, he is suffering and it is not right to let it continue.

(This was taken this morning as I said my goodbye to my baby boy)

I was the strong one all week. I wanted to be strong for my husband and kids. I cried in private last night, but pulled myself together before my husband got home. All that being said when I got the call that they had put him to sleep and he was gone, I lost it. I started sobbing uncontrollably.

I have a void in my life right now, a major hole in my heart. My house will never be the same without Gunner. My life will never be the same without Gunner.

He has been by my side from the moment I landed in Georgia.

Protected me through all of my husband’s time spent away from home.

He was by glued to my hip during both of my pregnancies.

He was my friend.

I will miss him more than he will ever know. I know that we did what we had to do for him, but I would have done anything for him not to have been sick. I wanted so many more years with him. He was our beloved four legged son.

Rest in peace Gunner. You lived a good life. You were loved by everybody who met you. You will forever be in my heart.

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7 Responses to “Goodbye…”

  1. ManifestYogaJen January 21, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    I love you Gunner. So sorry guys. I know how hard this is…. I am crying right now 😦

  2. sabrinasdadjack January 21, 2012 at 5:56 pm #

    He is in a better place..love you

  3. Bobbi January 21, 2012 at 6:09 pm #

    Huggz… I know what that feels like. Like you, I will forever miss my love dog, Max…. but he lives on in songs, in dreams, in clouds in the sky and miracles that happen to me every day. I know that because he was all love and he is in my heart.

    You will enjoy this book… because you understood the gift that your special dog was in your life…

    Angel Dogs

    http://www.angeldogsbook.com/

    “We use the word angel when describing dogs, not to say that every dog, at all times, behaves in a traditionally angelic way. The word angel harks back to the Greek word angelos, which means “messenger.” And as you will see, dogs do indeed serve as messengers from Spirit.
    Dogs bring to humans such messages as You are loved. You are not alone. You are protected and guided by a divine higher power. Dogs deliver messages such as When you are lonely, weary, overwhelmed by life’s burdens, I am here. People, who are in pain, often can’t hear the voice of God whispering comfort and hope. So God sends them a messenger with a furry face, wagging tail, licking tongue, and generous heart. Those who can accept the gift are taught that love is all around by one of life’s wisest teachers.
    The mission of this book is to open your heart so you can recognize and receive blessings from Spirit, even if they arrive accompanied by a bark. “

  4. James Vincent Knowles January 21, 2012 at 6:24 pm #

    gosh it’s hard to say anything at a time like this. i’m not very good at it me thinks. but the least one can do is say i’m sorry it hurts. here’s a few words by someone who was a bit better at finding the right words sometimes:

    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I’ll meet you there.

    When the soul lies down in that grass
    the world is too full to talk about.”
    ― Rumi

  5. theoneplumholly January 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm #

    my heart is breaking right along with yours. i had to say good-bye to my sweet ojo 6 months ago and not a day goes by where i don’t think of him and ache to feel his soft fur and kiss that sweet, red nose. all i can tell you is allow your grief, ride the wave of it, don’t fight it, have a letting go ceremony as a family and somehow, cry when you need to and don’t apologize. {{{hugs}}}

  6. Odile W January 21, 2012 at 7:19 pm #

    So sorry to hear this! From what Jennifer Pastiloff shares, you sound like a pretty amazing person. Makes sense you had such an amazing dog. Really sorry he’s gone.

  7. Diane February 9, 2012 at 7:01 pm #

    Jennifer….I understand the pain and void you feel. Animals give “unconditional love” thus the loss almost seems greater than a human……
    It takes time — grieve… and celebrate his life and all that you shared — then open that beautiful heart of yours to the next “best friend” — you will always hold a place in your heart for Gunner…. but you will love again, hug again and love the feel of the new fur and the awesome loving light in your pups eyes – you both will know you deserve each other and the right to let go and let another animal love in. Diane (you will both be blessed and lucky to have each other)

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