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Getting Anxious

24 Jan

I can’t believe in 5 days I will be in Mexico…

I think my nerves are really starting to kick in at this point. My children are 5 and almost 3 years old, this is the first time I will have ever left them for this long. The longest I have ever left them prior to this was for 2 days.

I know that my children are in good hands while I am gone, but I worry so much about them being sad or feeling abandoned by me. I know that sounds ridiculous but my kids and I are really close.

I know for me this is especially a big deal because of Blaise. I am so used to doing everything for him. I know that my mom and Jona will take care and feed him correctly. It is just so hard to let go of control, feeding and taking care of Blaise is MY thing, and I have to hand that over to somebody else for an entire week.

I have never thought of myself as somebody that has issues with control, I do see that when it comes to my kids I clearly do.

I know that I need this trip. I need to have this time to myself. When you have kids you take care of yourself last. This truth is amplified when you have a child with a medical condition. My thoughts are always on my children, it is always more important that they are taken care of before I take care of myself.

Well, for just this one week I will be taking care of myself. It feels totally awkward and uncomfortable for me to do something like this. I am not used to doing something just for myself. I am truly blessed that my sister has blessed me with this gift for my 34th,and most special birthday ever.

I am looking forward to the adventures that await me in Mexico. I am expecting to be delighted on this trip. I know I will have many moments of worry for my kids, and my poor mom who be listening to them cry for me, but I know it will all be ok.

3 words for today

TIME FOR ME

I plan on sitting and meditating while I am away. I plan on enjoying some amazing moments with my sister, on a trip we have always dreamed of taking together.

I feel so blessed in my life right now. I am so excited about this trip. I know this is just the beginning of an amazing year.

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One Response to “Getting Anxious”

  1. barbarapotter January 24, 2012 at 11:55 pm #

    You deserve it Rach and I am so happy to help. I will bring earplugs….hahaha… Have so much fun with Jen. Love Mom

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