Who are you most grateful for?

8 Feb

Is there somebody in your life that you have undying gratitude for?

Is there somebody in your life that resonates pure love for you?

Is there a champion in your life?

While on my journey down south to Mexico we were asked this question. “Who has held you up? Can you see them holding you up now?”

I have been blessed in my life. I have an amazing mother and an amazing sister who do just this for me. I have a blessed life but it is can be difficult and overwhelming at times. If not for the fact that I felt as if I being held up sometimes I think I may crash down to the ground.

I have been thinking about this concept a lot lately. I have in many of my quiet moments acknowledged how lucky I am to have such an amazing support system. How lucky I am to have people in my life who are constant champions for me to live my best life. How lucky I am to have people who will tell me on my worst day not to give up and try again, even if I don’t want to. I have thought long and hard about this lately and realized this; I am who I am today not only because of my hard work, but because there are people out there who never gave up on me.

As I have started out the  beginning of my 34th year on earth I feel blessed, loved and full of happiness. I have come to a develop a strong conviction in my heart that my life is not only worth living, but that I am here for a reason. I have always had this conversation in relation to my son who has Prader Willi Syndrome. I realize now just how true that statement is. We all have bad days and sad days and days that we just can’t take it anymore. It is okay to have those days, but it is never okay to deny your worth and your place on this earth. I know in particular with my dear son that he was given Prader Willi Syndrome for a reason. I know that his life is worth something spectacular, something bigger than I am. I know that my son has gifts to give the world. So I will thank the Universe in advance for all the amazing journeys that my sweet boy has yet to go on, and for the souls he has yet to touch.

While in Mexico I was told this by some dear friends, “Children with special needs pick you as their parents not the other way around.” Wow, what a huge statement. It is awe-inspiring to think that somewhere in the universe my son picked me to be his guardian and to help him rise up.

As I said earlier I have been blessed to have amazing people by my side to lift me up and hold me there when I am too tired. I now want to do that for others. I want to be the love and acceptance that we all crave in our lives. I want to be there for others the way I others have been for me throughout my life.

During an exercise on our retreat we had to look into somebody’s eyes for 3 minutes straight. Let me tell you this is no easy task, especially for somebody like me who is constantly in her own head. As I stared into the eyes of this beautiful woman across from me I found myself saying her mantra to her in my head. I thought absolutely nothing of myself for the entire 3 minutes. I was completely out of my head because I was only there to give.

I knew at that moment that this is a practice that must be life long for me. This must be something that I keep in my life. To be attentive in somebody’s life and help hold them up on their days of weakness. I want to serve, this much I know to be true.

There is an old saying that I have heard for years, it goes like this:

“When in doubt, Focus out!”

Whenever I am in my doubtful state I will reach out, I will serve. I will hold somebody up!

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