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The side effects of a breakthrough

3 Apr

I AM BLESSED.

I AM BLESSED.

I TRULY AM BLESSED.

This is what I say to myself every single day. It is my daily mantra. I don’t have millions of dollars and a fancy life, but I have a GREAT life. I have a blessed life.

I woke up this morning and did my daily practice that I committed to do. I was only able to get in 35 minutes of practice before the children woke up, but it definitely impacted my day. I found that sitting quietly with myself in the morning is just what I need to start the day right.

There are a few things that are really shining through for me now. The most obvious of them all is that I have created a new story for myself, it is completely opposite from the story that I carried with me for years.

No longer am I the Rachel that can’t follow through. So long are the days of proving myself right that I always give up before I reach the end. I say bye-bye to a life where I struggled to keep my word to myself.

Yes, I am still smoke free. I am practicing yoga everyday. I am slowly but surely giving up coffee, and am making a habit of eating foods that bring me life and energy. I am keeping my promise to myself whole-heartedly to live as the best version of myself.

There are the other side effects to learning to live a new life, there are side effects of a breakthrough. There is the uncomfortable feeling that takes over your body. The feeling that you are outgrowing your favorite pair of shoes, or your beloved blanket that needs to get thrown away.

I am in love with my love. I am in love with the people in my life. I am in love with the practice of caring for myself, but it is all a bit awkward to me.

I am learning all new behaviors and thought processes. I am feeling huge shifts taking place inside and some of them are most definitely stirring things up in my soul.

I had much more patience with my children and myself today. I found that over the last two days I have been extremely comfortable with my body. After the most amazing first weekend of teacher training I came away with a greater appreciation for my physical self.

I am quite sure I have just scratched the surface of many breakthroughs to come over the coming months. I am excited and a bit scared of what may happen as a side effect of one of those breakthroughs. There is always one, and the thought of what that could be is really scary to me now.

I am committing to the process and I will not allow myself to live for the future, for it hasn’t happened yet and so I am free of it.

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3 Responses to “The side effects of a breakthrough”

  1. barbarapotter April 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm #

    I am so very very very proud of you. You stand tall. Love you

  2. Nicole J Schutz April 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    Thank you for this Rachel. We are in the same boat. Not in the same seat, but definitely in the same boat. You are beautiful. I’m so glad I read this today.

  3. jamesvincentknowles April 5, 2012 at 7:48 pm #

    you are continuing to inspire me Rachel. gratitude to you~! namaste

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