Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity
by Pema Chodron
I just returned home from easter dinner and decided I needed to read my Brene Brown book “The Gifts of Imperfection.” I came right to the page with the quote above. It really spoke volumes to me this evening. I am completely stuck on this idea of compassion not only for my son, but for humanity in general. I realized after Blaise was diagnosed that I had not practiced enough compassion in my life. When you have a child with special needs or a medical condition of any kind you change your ways really fast. I not only began practicing compassion, but made it a full life changing event for me. I have compassion every where I go. I look at everybody I meet and think to myself the same thing over and over, “You never know what somebody is going through, you never know what it is like to walk a mile in their shoes.” So I just send people love.
I can’t help it when it comes to my son that I wish people would have more compassion for him. I don’t want people to pity him, he is an amazing individual, but compassion for the challenges he has. It breaks my heart into a million pieces when I can see that people don’t have compassion for him, when they don’t even realize the faces they are making when they look at him, and how those faces can really hurt. I can always tell when somebody is looking at my child like he is less than, and that really gets me going. I want to go to the top of a mountain and scream to the world.
WHY CAN’T YOU SEE ALL THAT HE IS, INSTEAD OF ALL THAT HE ISN’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can see all these things in him. I see an extremely loving child that can make anybody smile. I see a child that will never forget your face or name after meeting you just once. I see a child that lights up when his family walks in the room. I see a child that has a unique gift with becoming one with music. I see a child that can memorize things I still can’t as an adult. I see a child with the gift of laughter. I see a child that has pure joy running through his veins. I see so many things, why can’t everybody see these things too?
I will never stop fighting for him. I will never stop correcting people when they say hurtful things to him. I will never ever stop standing by his side and telling him to stand tall. I will always let my son know that he has a place in this world.
I wish that all people realized how in reality we are all just one people. That we are all a shared humanity. My life has opened up tremendously since I came to that realization myself. I have opened my heart up and I have been overflowing with joy and abundance of love. It is a sad and lonely place when we can share our experiences with one another. It is a cold and dark place where we sit in judgement of our fellow-man. I prefer to sit in the light of allowing myself to feel joy for others and pain for others.
3 words for today
BE COMPASSIONATE NOW
I will teach both of my children the same lessons I live by. If you want love, then you must be love. If you want joy, then you must give joy. If you want COMPASSION in your life, then you must have compassion. You must BE all the things you desire to have in your life. It’s that simple and that real.
I know this may seem like the rant of a pissed off mom, and you may be right. When I gave birth to my son I had no idea how my life would change, how much he would change me. I am so blessed that he chose me to be his mother, that he chose me. That is a very powerful statement, and true.
HE CHOSE ME TO BE HIS MOTHER.
That is a big responsibility and I intend to live up to his expectations. I will help hold him up to the light until he can see his light shining on his own. He is a force in this world and I am here to clear a path for him. I will walk with him to the end, no matter what it takes.
This was a post one of my PWS moms posted on her page. It is brilliant and I have been wanting to share with the world. Thank you Janis!
WE ARE THE VOICE OF