I turn 35 in 5 months and I am better now than I ever was. After a night of no sleep I am up at 6am and ready to face the day. I am not cranky, sleepy, or even mad that I am not sleeping now. I am awake, totally awake and alive.
Today marks 8 days completely gluten-free, and Wednesday marks 6 months of being smoke free. On Saturday, August the 4th I graduate from my teacher training. I am loving life.
I woke up today and I felt great, I felt as if I was living in a new body. I am twenty pounds s overweight and totally fine with that. Why? I will tell you. I am healing my body. If I have gained weight because of quitting smoking, well than that is twenty pounds that I am glad to have. In return I have added years to my life. I am healing my insides by eliminating all the gluten from my diet and I love the lightness that I feel. All of the things that don’t serve me anymore I have said good-bye to. I am twenty pounds heavier but healthier than I was when I was in my 20’s, totally worth it.
What prompted this post today was to share the real “Change Inside” of me, and how you can have the same. I would have been completely depressed a year ago if I saw that I had gained twenty pounds. I like so many women equated my worth with how much I weighed, or really how skinny I was. I am not alone in that experience. In fact I used to obsessively get on the scale everyday, all it did was upset me. There was a time when my sister came to visit and hid my scale from me before she left. When I couldn’t find it I went into a complete panic. I called and begged her and she wouldn’t tell me where it was. I took me days to find it. Why? What did this represent? If I got on the scale and I was lighter than I had a good day, if it was heavier than it was almost definitely a bad day. When I think of that time it makes me a bit sad, I can’t even imagine that being a part of my life anymore. Of course I still care about my body, I care about my body more than I ever had, but in such a different way. I look at myself through completely different lenses. I rarely get on the scale, and when I do I see just a number, I am not effected either way. I look in the mirror and like what I see no matter what. When I look in the mirror if I am not feeling my best that day here is what I do, I find something that I do like about what I see and focus on that. I then look at myself again in the mirror and realize that I like all of what I see.
I don’t know if it is the growth I have had in teacher training or that I am getting older, but I am completely comfortable in my skin. That is the best feeling in the world.
I AM NOT MY WEIGHT
I AM NOT MY HAIR
I AM NOT THE PERFECTION OF MY SKIN
I AM NOT THE CLOTHES I WEAR
I AM PERFECTLY IMPERFECT RACHEL, AND I AM TOTALLY HAPPY WITH MY INSIDES AND OUT
The peace that comes with being comfortable in your own skin is immeasurable. It is life changing and yummy. I wish I had this remarkable shift when I was a younger woman, but I am happy that I have come to this place at all. There is no better time than now. I am convinced that I have been given a second lease on life and that it is just the beginning for me.
My challenge to all of you is to find this peace within yourself. I say take the challenge for one week. Here is what you do.
For 7 days I want you all to stand in front of the mirror and find something that you really like about yourself. I want you to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are perfect. Say it even if you don’t want to, say it even if don’t feel it. Fake it until you make it. Keep doing this until it feels real for you. I promise you that you are perfect just the way you are, and you when you realize it you will be a new person.
I invite you all to have The Change Inside!