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Wish It Away

26 Sep

The brightest star in the sky might be beautiful to you, to me it is so much more. The brightest star in the sky is actually my father, Melvin, who left this earth one hot July night in 1983.  My mom used to tell me when I was a little girl to look to the sky, find the brightest star and there he would be smiling down upon me. In my darkest hours and most desperate times of need, there was that star always there to guide me, always there to have something to wish upon.

Oh there was always proof that it was true. When my beloved dog Monet ran away. I loved this dog more than words could describe. He was one little ball of white fluffy love. He was my companion and fearless friend. When he disappeared one night without a trace I was devastated. My mom and stepfather Carl went out in search of him. I assume my sister stayed behind to babysit me, although I can’t really remember. I do remember walking out  the little tiny front door area of our condo and looking up to the night sky. I scanned the big black abyss until I found him. Sparkling and shining and calling out to me. I began to speak. I said, “Daddy, are you there? Can you hear me? I need you now more than ever. I need you to find Monet and help him get home. Daddy, please bring my baby back. I can’t imagine life without him.” I dont’ remember what happened after that, but the next morning Monet came home. As far as I was concerned  my daddy had brought him home. My eventual conclusion was that if you wished upon that star then I could WISH IT AWAY. I could wish anything away. If I was hurt I could wish it away. During times of confusion I could wish it away and be left with a feeling of certainty. If there was doubt I could find my star and wish my lack of clarity away, and POOF it would be gone.

At some point in time we begin to grow up. We begin to lose our imagination and faith in wishes. At some point your adult belief system takes over your delicate and beautiful child belief system.

As I enter into this time in my life I wish for that childhood belief system back.

I have decided to write all my wishes down. Tonight I am going to scan the sky and find my dad. After I spend some time getting re-acquainted with him, I will send him my wishes to take away.

Dear Daddy,

I wish for you to take away my sons pain. I wish for you to help the scientists find a cure for PWS, FASTER.

I wish for you to take away my fear of failure surrounding my new business.

I wish for you to help me find the love for myself that I seek so desperately.

I wish for you to take all the things that cause me to doubt myself. I want you to take them and throw them out in the vacuum of space.

love,

Your daughter Rachel

In my childhood version of me, I send this up to the night sky and it all comes to fruition. Who am I to question time and space and reality. That being said I will send up my wishes tonight and wait for each one of them to come to pass before my very eyes. Of course the adult me knows that as I send my wishes up I have to do the work to see them happen. The child version of me knows that a little help from beyond goes a long way.

Namaste and happy wishing.

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2 Responses to “Wish It Away”

  1. yogareformer September 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm #

    I love you lady and I wish for you to keep that childlike wonder in the meantime.

  2. Lenora September 26, 2012 at 11:16 pm #

    You made me tear up.

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