I am reading an amazing book called, ‘Life is a Verb: 37 Days to Wake Up, Be Mindful, and Live Intentionally‘ by Patti Digh. I picked up this book and have been unable to put it down. Wanting to live a life full of intention is my main focus every single day.
At the end of each chapter there are two exercises for the reader to follow. One is to be done right away, the second is a daily practice. The second exercise is the one that you keep coming back to until it becomes part of you, this is the one I am most interested in.
The chapter I am currently reading deals with the theme of ‘judgement’, most importantly how to live a life without passing judgement. An irony not lost on me as I was on the phone with a friend. I have a friend who is in a romantic relationship that I would have a difficult time partaking in. I spoke this out loud and even used the words that I thought it was a ‘strange’ situation. I immediately felt unsettled inside. I knew instantly that I was doing something that was not congruent with the way I want to live my life. I want to find peace in my world. When I pass judgement on others, I invite them to do the same to me.
I caught myself trying to defend myself and say that I wasn’t judging but…We all know that was not the truth. My friend on the other end of the phone said, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you don’t have to live their life.” I realized just how foolish I sound. Who am I to think that their life is strange or weird?
I felt terrible when I hung up the phone. It doesn’t feel good to be judgmental. It doesn’t feel good to gossip. It doesn’t feel good to be in-congruent.Certain things become clear to me, as I keep going deeper and deeper in a life of living intentionally.
It doesn’t feel good to be one way in the world, and another way in your private thoughts. They need to match up. They need to be consistent.
I need to be consistent.
My inner world needs to match my outer world. I am still a student. I am always willing to keep looking in and making the changes and shifts needed to live a life full of meaningful moments. We don’t remember days we remember moments. I want to remember my moments as ones that were compassionate, loving, joyful, caring, authentic, and kind.
I was recently told by a friend to do it all with kindness. Even when it is hard, do it with kindness. This is a practice I plan to take very seriously.
Where in your life can you “Do it with kindness?”