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Love Me Forever

27 Sep

Will you love me forever?

Will you always be my friend?

Will you release judgement of others and stay true to yourself?

Will you always be my best friend and my brother?

These are the thoughts I had today as I watched my boys play together in the back seat of the car. I thought if Blaise could communicate how he was feeling it would sound like that, or at least that is how I imagine it to be. As I watch my angels play together and love each other I pray that it will always be this way.

In my private secret moments I worry about the future of their bond. I worry about what happens when my youngest angel grows up and is barraged with the voices of others. What happens when others aren’t as accepting and open to his beloved brother. Will he have the strength to stand tall? Will he have the strength to push past the negative chatter and believe in his brother as he does now? My heart aches when I think about it, I feel a burning sensation in my soul.

When my children grow into adults will they still laugh and play as they did today? Will they look into each others eyes with love and concern? Will they walk to the ends of the earth for each other? Will they LOVE EACH OTHER FOREVER?

For many of you reading this blog the concept I am presenting may seem foolish or silly. Of course they will love each other, they are brothers. It is actually not foolish at all. We live in a harsh world. We live in a world where our youth are bombarded with the idea that they have to “fit” in to be accepted. They have to look right, act right, and “BE” right. So as my beloved ‘special’ child grows up I worry about the day that my baby may be on the opposite end of hate. I worry about my littlest angel wanting to be accepted and fit in and feeling resentment for being the sibling of a ‘special child’. You may think I am harsh for writing this but it is an unfortunate reality.

So I sit and bathe in these extraordinary moments of love between the two beautiful creatures I call my sons. I send them all my love and hope that it envelopes them and wraps them in pure goodness. I pray that this will all be enough to keep them together forever. I imagine that when my ‘special’ angel asks his brother, “Will You Love Me Forever?” baby brother angel replies, “Till the end of time!”

namaste and happy loving!

One Precious Life

24 Jul

 

I was in a poetry mood today and decided to read some of Mary Oliver‘s work. I stumbled upon a poem that truly spoke to me at this very moment. Entitled “A Summer’s Day” it is a beautiful piece and the last sentence is my favorite.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?-Mary Oliver

So I immediately started thinking, what is it that I plan to do with my “one wild and precious life?” This topic has been on my mind all week-long. I have been under the weather and possibly have an auto immune disease, or so my doctor thinks. This of course brings up a ton of stuff for me. I go into a straight panic when I think about not being there for my children, in fact I get physically ill even thinking about it. I decided almost a year ago that it was time to really get healthy, not just “sorta” healthy, but all the way healthy. I did the first thing and that was to give up cigarettes. I started exercising regularly and eating really healthy. I know I can’t prevent lighting from striking me, but I don’t have to do bad things to my body to make me sick. I am preventative!

That takes care of the body conversation, now what about all the other stuff, like living each and every moment authentically. The first part of that journey for me was taking teacher training and doing something that I love. Continuing on the journey to truly live my one precious life is to take risks and have faith in myself. I am not saying that I am going to jump out of an airplane tomorrow, but I am definitely stepping out of my box more.

I read my sister’s blog today on saying “YES” and it really got me thinking. Where in my life can I say yes? I am going to start saying yes to myself, yes to my ability, and yes to reaching for the stars in my life.

 

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