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Tag Archives: staring

Careful When Judging

13 Sep

I normally do not rant on my blog, that is all about to change.

This is what I have to say. I am going to say it as loud and clear as possible.

When you are out in the world, at a restaurant, grocery shopping, driving in traffic, or at the doctor and you see a child screaming or a mother losing her cool and grabbing her child by the arm and being stern; BE CAREFUL BEFORE YOU JUDGE THEM. Be careful placing judgement upon others for you know not what battles they are fighting. 

It has been months since my family went out to eat. We went out for a bite at a local, casual restaurant. Very loud, very kid friendly or so we thought. At the end of the meal the waitress, who was very sweet, became very overwhelmed with her tables. A young man came in and was singing while playing the acoustic guitar, and a very unfriendly table had just sat behind us. Our little one was really struggling so my husband decided to take him home, and our oldest son refused to leave and stayed with me. He wanted to see the guitar player, but I had to wait for the check. All hell broke loose. He started screaming, the table behind us was in my face, and the large table of young 20 somethings was looking at me as if they should call DFCS on me for grabbing my son and walking away. Now my son is screaming at the top of his lungs and I put my hand over his mouth, at this time he proceeded to bite my hand, just narrowly missing breaking the flesh. All the while the entire restaurant was staring. Let me point out that this hasn’t happened to me in quite some time, and typically it doesn’t bother me, this time it did.

 

As I left the restaurant I wanted to walk back in and confront the 2 tables that were staring at me like deer in headlights. I wanted to say something like this.

“It isn’t polite to stare, but since you are let me break it down for you. This is my 5-year-old son. He suffers from a rare genetic disorder called Prader Willi Syndrome and autism. Although he may look “normal” to you, I assure you he is fighting many battles. Before you judge my behavior regarding how I handled my son you should know this. I only slept for 3 hours last night. My son is sick and when that happens his behavior becomes more than any of you could understand. My husband and I are in the middle of the most difficult financial time of our lives, and I am dealing with my mystery medical issues that seem to elude my doctors. I am human, I am not a robot. I have one child with PWS and autism, and a second with hyper-activity and mood dysfunction disorder. I may have looked like a crazy woman to you, but you couldn’t imagine that I have been up handling this since 4am today. As the parent of a special needs child we are “supposed to stay calm and not lose our cool.” Unfortunately for me I am not perfect and I do lose my cool on occasion, tonight was one of them. I can say this with absolute certainty. Most people in the world could not walk a day in my shoes, most people could not even begin to comprehend what a typical day is for me, let alone these days where things are just not going well.

Tonight I write not just for myself. Tonight I write for my thousands of extended family members. My family of parents/grandparents and caregivers of those with special needs. Tonight I write for them. Tonight I come to you and challenge you to this:

When you see a situation like me taking place, don’t stare. I challenge you instead to offer a hand, offer your heart and see if that parent or caregiver could use some help. I will tell you that a smile goes a really long way. A smile goes a really long way in the heart of a special needs parent in the midst of a crisis with their loved one.

“You must be the change you want to see in the world”-Ghandi

Help me spread the word and please share this blog with all of your friends.

Namaste and thank you for reading.

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