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Grant Me Strength

16 Sep

English: This is a photograph I personally too...

English: This is a photograph I personally took when Wayne Dyer came by my television station (KUSI-TV in San Diego) in March 2009. This is NOT a screen shot. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My heart breaks every time my son cries for food. I feel tremendous sadness every time my youngest son wants more of a treat can’t have it because of his brother. I wish I had more patience on the days where my little guy cries for hours on end and I can’t handle it. If only I could have as much compassion for my self as I did for others. I wish that when my house is messy I think the same thoughts I do when I see somebody else’s messy house, “this house looks lived in, they have busy lives.” I wish that I wasn’t always tired. I wish I didn’t wish for so much.

 

I am running on very little steam today and I don’t vibrate at a very high level when this is the case. I function on a lower vibration. This leads to confrontation, yelling, little patience, and ugliness that comes from within. It is such a strange sensation to intellectually know that your behavior is shameful, but emotionally you just can’t help yourself. It is like watching yourself in slow motion.

I keep thinking about sleep tonight and will it come with ease. I keep thinking about how Wayne Dyer says that the last 5 minutes before you drift off to sleep are the most important. What you say to yourself in those last 5 minutes will marinate in your brain, your body, your essence for the next 8 hours. I keep thinking about how tonight it will be incredibly difficult not to marinate in the bitter words I feel for what today has been like.

Tomorrow shall be a better day. This week is presenting itself already as full of challenges. All of this madness will culminate with my One Small Step for Prader Willi Syndrome on Saturday and my sister Jennifer’s “Manifestation Workshop” at my studio on Sunday.

God, Universe, Dad in heaven please grant me the strength to handle it all. Grant me the strength to vibrate on my highest level all week.

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